-Black Cat- (auddie) wrote,
-Black Cat-
auddie

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What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger...

Oh man...I feel powerful yet weak. I feel like I won something, yet...lost some of the pieces that I kept in my heart all along. Is this one of those posts that a lonely person might make? Probably. But I don't want this to be a reflection of self-pity. Just a statement. One where I could either look back on this and know where I came to be from my past...

...or laugh.

Isn't it funny...how even if the people you hold on to so dearly... screwed you over. A friend or a boyfriend. Together. They did it. And yet...you still dare to help them. To support their wishes. To make everything count in their relationship like you had long ago. Every now and than I beat myself up from my past. Why couldn't I have been a better girlfriend? Why couldn't I have not seen this coming? How come things are the way they are?

Was it...like a punishment from God or something? Did I do somemthing so terrible to lose what I had so dearly? Things were so great than. Why did they have to be fucked up?!

And than I remember what my Dad taught me. What he told me before in the past. "You can't help it if you fall in love with somebody." So it's not their fault. It happened. Things happen all the time. There's nothing I could do.

It's still not fair. :'( But that's the part of life. Nothing is fair. People get screwed over each day. Sometimes more or less than others. But in the end, everybody get's his or hers in the end. I was taught that before also by the words of a person who took them for granted.

Maybe things get ruined for purposes. Maybe everything will fall in its place at the end of the day...or maybe all the way at the end of life. Maybe I wasn't screwed over. Perhaps there's something more into the story. Something bigger and better that I couldn't understand than...and maybe I'll understand now.

And hell...even if things never work out between me and anybody else, ...I'm still growing stronger each day. A broken heart must strengthen the personality. I can't see how it wouldn't.

*looks down at the ground and stares up in the dark*

Let it be...let it be...whisper words of wisdom...

...let it be...


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